WebZombies

(This is an old post from 2010)

Facebook has over 500,000 “active users”. There are around 7 billion people on the planet Earth (6,697,254,041 to be exact). That means around 14% of the population on this little blue planet have an “actively” used Facebook page…

Actively… Interesting word choice, “Active”. It’s almost begging us to consider how many “inactive” users there are… and what exactly is an “inactive” user.

Linguistically speaking, it’s an oxymoron… how can you be a “user” and be “inactive”? The word “User” surely implies “Use” right?

If that’s the case then I’m an “inactive user” of a whole host of different things. I’m an “inactive user” of lipstick, baby carriages, cheese slices… really the list is endless!

My cigarette packet is an “inactive” DVD player… my elbows are inactive bomb shelters… I made my point a paragraph ago… I know… so back to it…

Really, the term inactive user, implies something else… it implies that at some point the user WAS active… was active?… here we get to the point of this rather macabre little blog… at least a small percentage of those “inactive” profiles… belong …to …dead people.

I personally know of two WebZombies. You probably know more…
…I realize WebZombie is quite a crude, insensitive way of describing these folks… but that’s the kind of blog this is, so deal with it…

Zombies of the World Wide Web… call George Romero.
Being someone who has two WebZombies Facebook friends, I speak here from some limited experience… limited because, at least for now, I’m not a WebZombie myself.

Through my work I have some experience in sociology. So I find my relationship with my WebZombie friends fascinating! I visit my WebZombie friends from time to time… look at their posts, view their photos… look at what other people have written… it’s like a little memorial really…

…But then… out of the blue, someone posts something new like:
“Hey, howz it hangin’ hanging, long time – no see!”

That’s wrong in all kinds of ways… but more than “wrong”… it’s a little creepy… like your WebZombie friend might just reply… or click “Like”…

But, far from remaining silent, from beyond the grave, our “inactive users” reach across time to teach us the greatest lesson to be learned on any social media platform; never let your last post look anything like this:

ROBGRAMS: Going bungee jumping today! It’s going to be a blast!
-Or-
ROBGRAMS: Need to get to the doctors for this indigestion.
-And certainly not-
ROBGRAMS: Who knew wild mushrooms could be sooooo tasty!

And most importantly… if you ever see a comment like that… Don’t “Like” it.

Thanks for reading

Rob

XXX

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